Libido-Boosting Tips & Tricks (Q&A Monday)

This week’s question is all about feeling sexy and increasing your libido! I’ve got a MASSIVE, SEXY list of foods, tips and tricks to get your sexual fire running hotter (or re-ignited all together)!

This information is not to say that women should be having sex in any specific way, any specific number of times, or for any reason other than because they want to share their gorgeous bodies with their partner, and achieve pleasure themselves. I got questions upon questions related to sex, low libido while breastfeeding, and women just wanting more out of their sex lives. I also saw these questions come in as the only ones where women asked me to please post the question anonymously.

I do firmly believe, and I use this for myself too, that each of us has to push out society’s images of women having sex, and make enjoying physical love with our partners beautiful, fun, exciting, passionate, loving but most of all real and honest to our desires – whatever those might be. So step one to a fiery sex drive may well be throwing everyone else’s view of sex the hell out of your empowered bedroom. Sit quietly, journal, meditate, do whatever you have to do to get real and honest within yourself, think about what you like, how you like it, whether or not you’ve told your partner this, and then use that as mental fuel for your sexual organs. Give yourself permission to let go of any other ideas, pictures or mental video clips of what sex “should” look like.

Now it looks like you, however and wherever you want it!

What foods can boost your sexual appetite?

There can be a bigger story, but if you’re in awesome health, here are some foods I’d focus on introducing to boost your sexual energy. If you have ongoing health issues, these may not be for you, and may not work as well (it’s important to get YOU balanced out, and THEN move into targeted areas for most success).

Coconut
With coconut water, we’re talking electrolytes, and every athlete knows you can’t go for as long as strong without replenishing your electrolytes. With coconut fat products, we’re falling in love with the increased energy given to us by the medium chain triglycerides, and mentally, we’ve satiated our physical appetite, so we can move onto satiating our sexual appetite.

Oysters
These sexy seafood masterpieces contain LOADS of zinc. Why is this so fabulous? It increases testosterone production, which helps both men AND women feel an increased sex drive. For the lovely gentlemen reading this, zinc is involved in healthy hormone metabolism, sperm formation AND sperm motility (ability to be great swimmers). Vegan or vegetarian? Raw pumpkin seeds (soaked/sprouted are ideal), sprouted alfalfa and sesame seeds are fantastic sources of zinc.

Broccoli, Kale, Cauliflower, Mustard Greens, Brussels Sprouts
Ok, so these guys may not LOOK super sexy, but LADIES, they’ll power up your ability to metabolize hormones. And happier hormone levels can mean better moods, less PMS, less bloating and water retention and happier periods.

Raw Cacao
Oh my GOODNESS the best news EVER. Raw cacao is raw chocolate beans. You can buy this as a powder, as cacao nibs, as a superfood chocolate bar (something like Giddy Yoyo – one of my favourite raw chocolate bars) or as real whole cacao beans from the pod. Cacao contains magnesium which relaxes blood vessels for increased blood flow to your vagina, copper to power up your thyroid gland, and zinc, which boosts libido.

Goji Berries
Yep, this superfood is at it again, this time to power up your sexual desire! Goji berries are considered an adaptogenic herb in herbal medicine; an herb that helps you adapt to life when its’ stress demands change (whether they be physical or mental). In Traditional Chinese Medicine, kidney-adrenal health is related to sexual desire, and eating goji berries can definitely support adrenal health. Not only that, but their incredibly high pre-vitamin A content can help your skin glow, which can help make anyone feel sexier!

Seeds
In a metaphorical sense, eating seeds may help promote healthy “seed” development in you. This may seem far-fetched, but as we research, we’re learning that zinc, trace minerals and healthy fats all have their place in sexual health, and seeds provide an abundance of all of them. These can include funny seeds like watermelon, papaya and cucumber seeds in addition to the regular pumpkin, sunflower, sesame, flax, chia & quinoa. Organic or wild are always best, and for seeds, keep them raw (with the exception of quinoa, which can be soaked and sprouted raw, or cooked as is more common).

Dates
Woo-hoo! Dates are loaded in easily absorbed glucose, but they’ve got the benefit of fiber to slow down the sugar so you don’t spike and crash your energy levels. This means more sustained energy, with a definite boost. They’ve also got loads of minerals to support healthy rejuvenation of semen (gentlemen) and preliminary research is showing they’ve got some beautiful effects on healthy labour and childbirth. So while we don’t yet know which nutrients or plant chemicals are causing the beneficial effects, we are starting to see that dates positively affect the female reproductive system.

Chillies
Yep, you got it, chilies can definitely have their place in sexual health. Ever eaten spicy food and found yourself sweating? That’s because your blood vessels have opened up, pumping blood anywhere and everywhere which can stimulate feeling and healthy swelling of the clitoris. If you’re breastfeeding and find your child sensitive to spicy foods, you can try milder chillies or stick with any of the suggestions above.

What herbs can stimulate an increased sexual drive?
When working with clients, I look at what they would like to improve within their sexual functions. What is their vaginal environment like; is there dryness or itching? Can they achieve orgasm? Do they have sexual anxiety that might be better helped with herbs that nourish the nervous system? Is their low libido an effect of depression, and would herbs focused on supporting brain health and mental energy be more appropriate? The herbs below are suggestions that can help women who just want a libido boost, instead of those who may need support in healing the primary cause of their low libido as above. Talk to your Holistic Nutritionist, Herbalist or other healthcare provider about these herbs to see if any or all are right for you.

Saffron
This spice, treasured in the East, can have powerful aphrodisiac effects, as validated by research from the University of Guelph in Canada. A little goes a long way; even using a few threads of saffron can help stimulate your sexual desire. And, as I learned in India a few years ago, look to buy saffron that is bright red, with very few yellow or orange threads. However, it is reassuring to see some yellow-orange threads throughout to know that it wasn’t all dyed bright red for increased profits. If it’s cheaper than almost all saffron you’ve ever found, chances are, it’s too good to be true. It’s an expensive spice because it’s powerful in very small quantities. Look for sealed boxes with expiry dates for best results.

Cloves, Fenugreek (not recommended during pregnancy), Cinnamon, Anise & Ginger
Warming, blood-flow stimulating and great for digestion? Seems like these rockstars have got it all! So why are they great for libido? Because they support your kidneys and adrenals, leaving you feeling strong and relaxed all at the same time. Cinnamon and ginger stimulate blood flow which can help support vaginal health from the inside.

Milky Oats
Not only can these beauties increase breast milk supply, help with insomnia AND ease stress, tension and irritability, but milky oats were also used by traditional American herbalists to improve sexual energy and libido.

Shatavari
This Ayurvedic herb can be used to boost fertility and libido; though it should not be used during pregnancy. Not only can it boost your libido, but it can also boost your milk supply.

Mental Foreplay: methods for your mind to change your libido
Sometimes the body is working just right, and our minds need some sexual stimulation to start up the libido fire. Here are a few suggestions that you might love.

A 5-Day, 10-Day or 30-Day Sex Challenge
What if, like brushing your teeth, sex was something you fit into every day? Not only can this be helpful towards finding out how quick it can be some days (and setting some positive precedents to reflect on later), but it can set a distinct period of time where communication around sex can be more open. For example, during the length of the challenge, you and your partner may feel more open discussing fantasies or positions you’d always wanted to try because the time-frame of a challenge separates itself from your regular life where those discussions may not have happened for any number of reasons. It may also give you a chance to voice those things you really like to your partner. Remember: as humans, we generally love hearing about what we’re doing right, as opposed to criticism about what we’re doing wrong. Use your awesome gentle parenting techniques, encourage the good, and be gentle discussing the not-so-lovely.

Add Sexy to your Thoughts
What things do you think about to get you in the mood? Can you give yourself permission to show all your cards (openness and honesty) – even just to yourself? I love journaling and meditating to connect with who I am, what I’m working towards, and how I’m feeling. Once you’ve figured out what it is you like, can you add a couple of those thoughts, mental videos or images to your mind? Can you embrace the fact that your child is only there because of sex, instead of accepting the brain-washing that children and sex are completely unrelated? Or once the child is asleep, can you add some of your sexiest thoughts in then? You might be amazed how much when the mind thinks it, the body does it.

Visualizations
I’ve made visualizations for different clients to begin loving their bodies again, to help their nursing child sleep, and to become the confident person they imagine is within them. And in each of these cases, the women have been astounded at how effective they’ve been. Each woman is different, and might desire different things, but one way in which we are similar is how the nervous system connects the brain to all parts of the body, and how areas of the body, when touched, respond back to the brain. To achieve a boost in libido, try imagining a colour you find sensual, perhaps purple, deep pink, orange, or a soft red, following the nerves from the tip of your head, in through your breasts, connecting anywhere that feels nice to you, down into the clitoris, up through the vagina or birth canal and back up to your heart. Know that wherever you connect your mind to body with this colour, blood will flow, touch will feel more sensitive, and you will seduce sexual desire into your mind, and allow your body’s most intimate areas to become prepared for whatever is to come.

Therapy and/or coaching may be a wonderful option for you if you feel that your low libido is connected with a negative sexual experience from your past. The lovely ladies at The Red Tent Sisters (ecosex.ca) have an AWESOME sexual gratification coaching package that I highly recommend.

Happy Libido-Boosting!
Nathalie Norris, CNP

**glow nutritional consulting and Nathalie Norris are working to spread information to promote women’s health. By reading this information, and any information to follow on Q&A Mondays, you agree that major changes in diet or lifestyle should be decided upon with the healthcare practitioner that you trust, and who knows your complete health history**






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